Saturday, April 9, 2011

9 April 2011

I’m too young to be this tired. It’s not like the kind of tired you can just sleep away. I wish it were, but it’s not. It’s this kind of tired where, no matter how hard I try, I can’t feel okay. I don’t know what it is. I have a good job, I have a few wonderful friends, I have a lovely boyfriend, I have an amazing family. I laugh a lot. I smile a lot. I have good times 95% of the time. I don’t understand why I feel so…I don’t know. I just generally feel like hell. Anyway. Here’s my favourite baby in the entire world. She makes me feels not like hell. (Even if my skin looks like it. lol And I don't wear make-up to work, so pardon my non-make-up'd face, k? K.)

Stay Gold.

Leave a comment telling me how to not feel like hell.

1 comment:

  1. First off, crazycute kid.

    Second, OpenID hates me so I am forced to post this as Anonymous. I hate Anonymous so consider me to be Occasional Reader. Mysterious huh.

    So I am just an occasional reader. I don't know you, except for what you choose to tweet and blog about. I've asked a couple of questions on FormSpring or whatever questionnaire thing you've been using. Thanks for answering my questions by the way. So anyway your life is none of my business. But since you ask for readers to tell you how not to feel like hell...

    I can't tell you how not to feel like hell but I can tell you what you probably already know and actually having someone say it to you might help. I think you've got a low level depression dragging you down. From what you've tweeted and blogged about you're in recovery which sure as hell is not for the weak. You've already tackled a major drain on your mental and physical health so why not go the whole nine and drop kick this tiredness shit?

    I can't tell you how as I said but you could consider medical help, counselling, meditation, even fucking yoga. Don't waste your time existing when you could be living.

    Problem is, feeling like hell is bearable. You're tough and you're smart so low level depression is going to make you fail, as you so eloquently said, at life's tests while aceing every school test you'll ever take. So maybe the motivation to really look at this problem is low because not everything is completely shit. And you have so much else going on, including the actual problem itself which is exhausting you.

    I could be projecting my shit on to you of course. I think we're a bit alike so maybe I'm seeing parallels that don't exist and you feel like hell for a completely different reason. In which case, ignore the above. But SOMETHING is dragging you down and you're pretty shit at fighting it. Try and figure out who or what can help you fight it. If the NA meetings are helping you stay clean and sober, find out what can help you get your energy back.

    You ARE way too young to feel this tired.

    Good luck Miss Doll.